I know that everyone has places in their home that they would rather no one EVER see. At our home visitors will know when they are approaching a 'hot spot' because the children will run, while screaming 'NOOOOO!', to block the area.
So, in no particular order, here are the 10 Scariest Places in the Shepherd Home:
1. The silverware drawer. I don't know what happens in here, or how it happens, but our silverware drawer is a catchall for gross, weird things. Someone in search of a spoon is just as likely to encounter crumbs, globs of jelly, or discarded vegetables (does someone hide their unwanted carrots here?).
2. Under the couch cushions. When visitors lose their keys or wallets and instinctively move to lift up a cushion to see if the missing item can be found, we all gasp and discourage any delving into the depths of the couch. The curious thing is the kids are not allowed to eat while sitting on the furniture, but the evidence speaks a different tale.
3. The bathroom. Now, I know, everyone with children has scary bathroom moments. At least one Shepherd family member, maybe more, seems to enjoy eating while they take care of business, so to speak. We have found apple cores, bags of chips, and bowls of cereal on the counter by the toilet. Once, we even had a friend who needed to use the facilities come out of the bathroom chuckling. Apparently, there had a been a half eaten chocolate chip cookies waiting on the toilet seat. I can't even think about it. It hasn't happened in a while, but I once told a friend that she would be better off not using our bathroom. In fact, I told her she would be better off at a gas station bathroom, which are notoriously disgusting, than in my home. The shame still lingers.
4. The kids' dresser drawers. Apparently I had caught on to them hiding things under their beds and pillows so now the drawers are used to accommodate contraband.
5. My desk area. I must confess that I have a clutter problem. I am a fan of stacking piles 'to be sorted later'. I have forced myself not to purchase bins to hide my piles in for fear that I would start a downward spiral ending in me being crushed by a mountain of clutter-filled bins. I start out so organized, but then somewhere between Monday and Friday I lose it. The photo can speak for itself. (Actually, I can't find the cord to upload the picture. I blame my daughters.)
6. The refrigerator. Some who know me well might remember a bowl of watermelon that sat for an unreasonable amount of time in our refrigerator. The actual time length MAY have been a year - but I can't confirm that. I am somewhat reformed of my refrigerator neglect, however that doesn't make me exempt to the occasional scary plastic container. In fact, I'm cleaning out the fridge this week. Woot woot.
7. My dresser top. It's weird. Everything that is taken away from children ends up there, as do books, broken things that may, or may not ever, be fixed; in other words, it's a giant mess. Niecy Nash would have a cow.
8. The guest room closet. Apparently, all of the members of my home have begun to mimic my secret weapon against unannounced visitors: the guest room closet. Anything that cannot be put away quickly goes there, which is weird because it's actually probably a longer walk to the guest room than to where these items actually reside.
9. Under oldest daughter's bed. Much like the guest room closet the underneath of her bed has been used to stash anything she doesn't want me to know is in her room. I once found 4 pairs of scissors, multiple pairs of her little brother's underwear (?) , my shoes, and 4 overdue library books. Said daughter also recently confessed to hiding a pot of dirt under her bed.
10. Behind or underneath pieces of furniture that don't often get moved. I have found apple cores in various states of decomposition. Mostly they just shrivel up but I once found one that, when stepped on, actually deflated. I have found melted popsicles, empty pickle jars, and hundreds of candy wrappers, socks, shoes, coffee mugs, and way overdue library books. The older the children get the fewer items I find under the furniture, which is a relief.
Do you have any scary places in your home?
So, in no particular order, here are the 10 Scariest Places in the Shepherd Home:
1. The silverware drawer. I don't know what happens in here, or how it happens, but our silverware drawer is a catchall for gross, weird things. Someone in search of a spoon is just as likely to encounter crumbs, globs of jelly, or discarded vegetables (does someone hide their unwanted carrots here?).
2. Under the couch cushions. When visitors lose their keys or wallets and instinctively move to lift up a cushion to see if the missing item can be found, we all gasp and discourage any delving into the depths of the couch. The curious thing is the kids are not allowed to eat while sitting on the furniture, but the evidence speaks a different tale.
3. The bathroom. Now, I know, everyone with children has scary bathroom moments. At least one Shepherd family member, maybe more, seems to enjoy eating while they take care of business, so to speak. We have found apple cores, bags of chips, and bowls of cereal on the counter by the toilet. Once, we even had a friend who needed to use the facilities come out of the bathroom chuckling. Apparently, there had a been a half eaten chocolate chip cookies waiting on the toilet seat. I can't even think about it. It hasn't happened in a while, but I once told a friend that she would be better off not using our bathroom. In fact, I told her she would be better off at a gas station bathroom, which are notoriously disgusting, than in my home. The shame still lingers.
4. The kids' dresser drawers. Apparently I had caught on to them hiding things under their beds and pillows so now the drawers are used to accommodate contraband.
5. My desk area. I must confess that I have a clutter problem. I am a fan of stacking piles 'to be sorted later'. I have forced myself not to purchase bins to hide my piles in for fear that I would start a downward spiral ending in me being crushed by a mountain of clutter-filled bins. I start out so organized, but then somewhere between Monday and Friday I lose it. The photo can speak for itself. (Actually, I can't find the cord to upload the picture. I blame my daughters.)
6. The refrigerator. Some who know me well might remember a bowl of watermelon that sat for an unreasonable amount of time in our refrigerator. The actual time length MAY have been a year - but I can't confirm that. I am somewhat reformed of my refrigerator neglect, however that doesn't make me exempt to the occasional scary plastic container. In fact, I'm cleaning out the fridge this week. Woot woot.
7. My dresser top. It's weird. Everything that is taken away from children ends up there, as do books, broken things that may, or may not ever, be fixed; in other words, it's a giant mess. Niecy Nash would have a cow.
8. The guest room closet. Apparently, all of the members of my home have begun to mimic my secret weapon against unannounced visitors: the guest room closet. Anything that cannot be put away quickly goes there, which is weird because it's actually probably a longer walk to the guest room than to where these items actually reside.
9. Under oldest daughter's bed. Much like the guest room closet the underneath of her bed has been used to stash anything she doesn't want me to know is in her room. I once found 4 pairs of scissors, multiple pairs of her little brother's underwear (?) , my shoes, and 4 overdue library books. Said daughter also recently confessed to hiding a pot of dirt under her bed.
10. Behind or underneath pieces of furniture that don't often get moved. I have found apple cores in various states of decomposition. Mostly they just shrivel up but I once found one that, when stepped on, actually deflated. I have found melted popsicles, empty pickle jars, and hundreds of candy wrappers, socks, shoes, coffee mugs, and way overdue library books. The older the children get the fewer items I find under the furniture, which is a relief.
Do you have any scary places in your home?
Sharing stories comes as naturally to me as breathing.I write here so I can do that. Grab a cup of something and stay a while.
Posts
Kara! I am so happy I finally made it into your blog (see #6). I was the said person that was forced to put that watermelon monster in the dumpster. Literally grossest thing ever. I am surprised though you didn't mention behind your bed??? Wasn't there a time where you found old, squished moldy blueberries that a certain young man hid back there while watching tv???? Your bed was almost the scariest place to me.
ReplyDeleteThat is exactly why children are banned from our bedroom now!
DeleteI agree with Roger-behind the bed might be scarier. But that watermelon was.........Can also add to number 6 the 326984759823490865 bottles of condiments? :) Love you Kara!
ReplyDelete:) I do have a fondness for condiments.
DeleteHey... my motto is you don't need to organize what you don't have. Just throw it all away! I'll help you when I come over. I love purging. hahaha.
ReplyDeleteI may take you up on that!!
DeleteOh, dear! How I can identify with this entry! Well, except maybe #3. That one has the greatest entertainment value, though, i.e. LOL! Good for you for the avoidance mentioned in #5! I am spending hour after hour this year going through such bins here. And...while Niecy Nash makes me laugh in some roles, I used to live in fear that Ron would linger too long on the channel airing "Clean House" and decide to give her a call!
ReplyDeleteKeep writing, Kara! For you and for the rest of us!!!
Kitty - I knew you could relate to this post. :) I actually have thought of you every time I go into my garage. I have forgotten to put the recycle bins out for the last 6 weeks and we have quite the mountain of plastic, paper, cardboard, and aluminum. My family keeps telling me to get rid of it - but I know you would defend my pile!
DeleteKara, I resemble those remarks! Our garage is now a room (with piles of its own, but I'm working on it! That's where said bins are!) The contractor who converted it saw what was in it and what sat in our front yard the first few days of his renovation and later wondered, "What did you do with it all?!"
DeleteAnd after reading your comment above, I am recalling how fascinated and surely appalled your brother was upon his discovery of my garage!
I believe your children come by this messiness via you. I cannot defend Lee either. As much as a refrigerator is used, I am always amazed by the things that hide there. Having a second refrigerator in the laundry or garage simply magnifies the problem. Rule: never put food in the second refrigerator. I agree with Kitty about the bathroom (#3). That's just gross.
ReplyDelete