Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Hot Date

I woke with a sense of anticipation.

Today was the day!  My letter had come confirming the date.

I showered (and shaved!), took extra care with my hair, went heavy on the facial moisturizer.  I even used the under-eye roller to get rid of the puffy, dark circles under my eyes. I broke out the eye-liner, mascara, and lip gloss.  I went all out, I'm telling you.

My clothes had been laid out the night before, the colors picked to highlight my best features.

I looked good. As I walked into the living room the kids gasped in all the right ways.

"Where are you going?" the sweet hubby asked.

"To get my new driver's license!"  I answered excitedly.

A drawn out 'okay' was his only reply.

Clearly, he does not understand the critical nature of the driver's license photo.  It brings back all sorts of uncomfortable memories of school picture days gone bye.

Me in 3rd grade

It seemed like Picture Day was always a shock to me. In elementary school I remember filing into the hall with my class wondering if we were heading to an assembly only to be greeted by umbrellas and mottled gray background screens.  In junior high I was only slightly more on top of things. Frankly, growing up in the 80's didn't help.  Growing up in Kentucky certainly didn't help either. The things I did to my bangs.  I don't remember any high school picture days until my senior year.  I had to wear the velvet drape that all the girls had to wear and I broke out into hives worrying over how much skin was showing.

So, getting my driver's license photo done right is my way of redeeming all of those picture days. 

That's been my plan, anyway. I have not ever succeeded in getting a good photo for my license, and I was sure this was the year.

I got to the BMV, got my number and waited to be called. I didn't wait 10 minutes before it was my turn.

I answered all of the questions about my eyesight, mental health, and heart health. The attendant politely asked if there were any changes to my information and I politely told her that it was exactly the same as it was 10 years ago, when I last had my license updated. I hope she was not insinuating that perhaps my weight could have possibly changed.  She said it was picture time so off we went.

Now, the BMV is just not set up for good pictures. First, you have to stand. Second, the background setup is more like a mugshot moment.. Thirdly, everyone always seems in a hurry and as long as your eyes are open in the picture they call it good. 

Anyhoo, I positioned myself in front of the black screen and squared my shoulders. I extended my neck, you know so I had skinny neck, and smiled brightly.

"Put your lips together,"  I was told.  I followed directions and tried the pouty look.

"I need you to move your bangs off of your forehead, please. They want your eyebrows showing,"  the attendant said apologetically. I was put out at this point. I had heavy bangs going on and I loved how they swept over my eyes. All my hard work with that fat curling iron seemed for nothing.

"Tilt your head down, please."  I was told.

That was it. I had been obedient with the ridiculous demands of the BMV but this was too far.  I didn't move. I just smiled with closed lips and waited for her to snap the photo.

"Ma'm, please tilt your head down and look at the dot just above the lens."

"It will give me a double chin.  I'm looking down with my eyes,"  I said firmly.

She put her hands on her hips.

I titled my head down.

She snapped the photo, double chin and all.

I was given the black and white copy to keep until my real license came in the mail.  I told her I was disappointed with my photo, especially since I paid $19.50 for the dang thing.

"You didn't pay for the photo, you paid for the driver's license,"  she told me.

That's what the Indiana BMV thinks.


  1. 'you know so I had skinny neck'
    you have a knack for saying things that most of us don't even put into words in our own minds, but that we think nonetheless

  2. Ok, we got the 3rd grade photo, but where's the BMV one??????

    1. I'm not brave enough to go public with that picture! :)