Thursday, March 20, 2008

Unidentifiable Goop

I cleaned out my minivan today. Cleaning seems to be a recurrent theme in my blog postings as of late. It happened really out of self-preservation, though. I was so embarrassed for someone to see the inside, and things had started to fall out when I opened the doors. Things like empty water bottles, shoes, a bar of soap. I wish I were kidding about that bar of soap. I was also beginning to feel that a family of raccoons may be living in the dark depths of my vehicle, sustained solely on nasty food that they would ordinarily find in a dumpster.

I did it, though. I pulled my steed over to the dumpster and commenced the dumping. Spencer helped me to identify things which seemed unrecognizable to me, yet to him were easily recalled. I quit asking what things were when he identified chicken bones. I don't know when we ate fried chicken, and I certainly don't remember eating it in the car. After I had gotten out all of the largest pieces of trash I began using Windex and a rag.

That's when I found the unidentifiable goop. In the rear cup-holders there was a substance that was sticky, green, and had a faint (not unpleasant) odor. What was it? What had this goop been in its life before putrification? I'll probably never know. I theorize that it may have been soda in a McDonald's cup (thank you Nancy).

I persevered and made it through to the vacuuming stage. This is the part where you can really take out your aggressions. Aerobic vacuuming, we'll call it. I took out all of my anger at the nastiness that had occurred in my van. I took out my anger that my van has been abused by child, husband, and dog.

Then I stepped back and felt pleased. This is my van. It is clean and shiny and I made that happen.

And, I am NEVER letting anyone eat in my trusty van again.


  1. You are hysterical! I'm totally gonna miss you. We gotta have regular phone calls, though, so I can keep some sanity.

  2. Yes! Let's try to 'schedule' a time...that we can count on some adult conversation and bizarre sense of humor!

  3. WOW !!! everyday even after 13 years of marriage i still daily learn and see how amazing, gifted, and talented you are. You are such a great writer and reading your blogs is like a fine piece of pie! At first look your in awe of the pie, can you eat it, will it be too much, you know in your mind it will be fantastic and soon as the fork begins to cut you know the joy that is to come, once in your mouth the pie explodes with flavor and chills run through out your whole body with great happy and wonderful feelings and once the pie is gone there is a major feeling of satisfaction and honestly a want for more............... and your blog makes me feel better than the pie, even your moms blue ribbon chocolate pie that for some strange reason she refuses to make for me anymore! All in all my love, i am very proud of you and very proud to call you my lady and i am and remian your friend, lover, and greatest champion !!! i love you kara keep writing you ARR amazing and so talented !!!

  4. I have that same goop in my cupholders! I don't want to know what it is...especially since it's in MY cupholder!

  5. I once found a black and green banana congealed to a vintage Little Golden Book in my van. It was "Baby's Christmas." I vaguely recalled my sons insisting on taking it with us when we visited his grandparents over Christmas. And so we found it in the car, 4 months later.

    The happy news? I just found a pristine copy at Goodwill. Score!

  6. Kara, are you sure that wasn't MY mini-van you were cleaning out? It sure sounds like it!

    I just read a couple of your blog entries, and really enjoyed them. I know I'll be back.

    Thanks for you comment, by the way - my first! Ever!