Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Change of Plans

Home is the place I have always counted on to remind me of who I am. Home is where life can take a pause, I can ignore the piles of laundry and clutter, and just regain my center.

By wisdom a house is built,
and through understanding it is established;
through knowledge its rooms are filled
with rare and beautiful treasures.
Proverbs 24:3-4

My parents still live in my childhood home. My family moved into the Cape Cod style home shortly before I was in kindergarten. I actually still remember running through the empty house when we came for a showing. I remember finding the phone numbers written on the attic walls; there must have been teenagers who pulled the phone into the attic for private conversations and used the foil paper on the insulation as a message board. I remember discovering a heart drawn into the concrete of the driveway, with the family's name and year in the center. Even as a very small child I loved the history of the house and the thought that we were adding ours on top.

Nine years ago we moved into a parsonage house and I loved the history there, too. The house was in bad shape but the 1960's style was darling. We have since lived in two other parsonage houses. We never intended to move so much. In fact, I thought that we would be like my parents and live in one house for 40 years. It was not so, though. Every time we have moved I have kept the curtains in an easy-to-access bag so that I can hang them quickly. Curtains just make it feel like home to me.

We've moved again, the third move in three years, and this time it is back to my childhood home. I have not lived in my hometown of Lexington, Kentucky for 15 years and it has changed a lot. There is more traffic, more housing, more restaurants and more construction. Way more University of Kentucky students and campus. Still not enough parking. One thing that hasn't changed is my parents' house. It's kind of cool.

It is certainly not what we had planned, however.

Sometimes you find yourself at a crossroads you didn't see coming. Like you've been on a blind hill and you started pay attention to the scenery, and the kids were screaming, and Taylor Swift's 'Shake it Off' was playing really loud and you were thinking life couldn't get any better when you looked up at saw a STOP sign. Whew.

Anyway, at this crossroads you have three decisions. You can stay and hope that you get clearer directions from above (or a stranger passing by). You can just go straight because it seems logical. Or you can do the Shepherd thing and drive through the fields surrounding the crossroads. Really, since it's a cross roads I guess you technically have four choices, straight, reverse, left, or right, but we didn't think about that.

We chose the fields.

It was strange and complicated but basically my darling husband chose to resign from his position as pastor for the good of our family. Our decision had nothing to do with our church and everything to do with us, although we struggled with feeling that we were abandoning our church family. We had come to love our church, and our church loved on us. In three years we've been with amazing churches, met people I hope we always know, and learned about Jesus in deeper ways. We'd been on a ride, an amazing wonderful ride, but we felt like it was time to get off. More importantly, we felt God was guiding us to get off.

We find ourselves in new territory. It's been 15 years since we had to find a church, 13 years since Lee had to go to a job interview, and 10 years since we had to find our own house.

I have to say it's pretty exciting (and really scary). I'm so thankful to my parents who have allowed us to make this change and live with them for a little while. 

Making the decision at home was easy, going out into the world with it was different. Sharing the news with people was hard but we were encouraged by understanding and loving responses.

This is the true story of how 9 people decided to start living together and start being real. That's a 90's reference, yo. There is so much that I don't know right now. I don't know how this story will end, I don't know what's coming tomorrow, and I don't know why everything has happened the way that it has. What I do know, however, is that God has guided us every step of the way. I also know that for the first time in a long time my husband and I are dreaming again and that feels amazing.

What I love about all of this is that I have had very little fear and very few sleepless nights. I love knowing that we are allowing God to lead us in ways that we never have. I'm still keeping my eyes out for a burning bush, though. I like things crystal clear, you know?  I'd like a bill board that says: LEE AND KARA, DO THESE THREE THINGS.  Alas, God is a not a genie in a bottle, there are no bill boards (except for the creepy one that says God will not be mocked, which I know he won't but I don't like ominous bill boards. I really hope he did not intend that one for me).

So, there you have it: the story of how I made it back home. I have to say I love it here. I love the sounds, the smells, and the neighborhood. I think I live in the best neighborhood in Lexington. Mostly, though, I love the people in the house, and the little dogs, too.They are the rare and beautiful treasures. Some days are really hard and I want to  hide in my bedroom closet. Most days, though, are good and when I crawl into bed at the end of the day I think, "I feel like Dorothy after she clicked her heels three times." I've got my husband beside me, a dog at the foot of the bed, children scattered about (and at least one in between us).

There really  is no place like home.

1 comment:

  1. I love you. First of all... the 90's reference. I totally got that. And then, the billboard. That is my exact thought every time I see a billboard like that. Yes.... it's technically correct, but must we be all ominous about it?

    I'm glad to hear that you're feeling so happy and comfortable. And it's exciting to hear about the renewed dreaming.