Wednesday, October 3, 2012


Cutting words cut like a sword 
but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18

I have always had an amazing way with words. I like words, I love the feel of them on my tongue.  I actually remember reading the dictionary as a child. The dictionary and thesaurus are two of my top favorite books. I like words because they are powerful.  To quote Spiderman's uncle, though, "With great power comes great responsibility."

So, so true. 

I have learned, in the hardest ways,  that no matter how few words I  use to inflict hurt, hundreds of words are needed to heal.

I can remember my father sitting me down and explaining that just because I knew that I was right it did not excuse me correcting people, especially adults.  That was so hard for me!  I just wanted to enlighten the world  and show them the correct way, i.e., my way.  It wasn't that I wanted to be a know-it-all, I just knew it, you know?

Marriage and motherhood were to be a pretty serious testing ground for my greatest weapon - my mouth.  My need to be right could love those I loved decimated. I justified my actions by telling myself that I was just being truthful, or that it was for their own good. I don't think being truthful was supposed to keep me up at night, though.

I did the only thing that I could do. I repented. I asked my husband and children to forgive me.I spent a lot of time with Jesus, the bible, and Kevin Leman. (Kevin Leman is hands down one of the best self-help/parenting authors out there. READ HIM!)

It can still be a struggle in my life.  I mean, sarcasm is the best thing ever.  I have noticed that when I am not having regular time with God and His word its seriously easy for me to regain relinquished control of my mouth.  That usually means that I am being, at best, verbally aggressive. Also, Spencer says I make 'the face' which involves me bearing my teeth.

I need for my family to know how much I love them. I think that in the end it will be my words that remind them most of my love. Also, though, I feel better when my mouth isn't running like a loose chainsaw.  I feel healed when the Holy Spirit has control of me.  It's not just about me wanting to be the best wife and mom I can be. It's about me wanting to be the best me I can be, and it really does start with my mouth.
This is scary: You can tame a tiger, but you can’t tame a tongue—it’s never been done. The tongue runs wild, a wanton killer. With our tongues we bless God our Father; with the same tongues we curse the very men and women he made in his image. Curses and blessings out of the same mouth!
 My friends, this can’t go on. A spring doesn’t gush fresh water one day and brackish the next, does it? Apple trees don’t bear strawberries, do they? Raspberry bushes don’t bear apples, do they? You’re not going to dip into a polluted mud hole and get a cup of clear, cool water, are you?  James 3:2-1-, The Message

For today I have focused on only saying positive things to the husband and kids.  You know, the whole, "If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all"  Bambi/Thumper  business.  Murphy's Law is in full effect. The husband was still asking more questions than I like when I'm trying to think, the kids are still themselves. I am the only one who has committed to change.  The super cool thing is that my change will trigger their transformation - and they won't even know it!  Tell me mama's don't have super powers.

So, as I've been writing, I noticed a weird smell that I could only identify as parmesan cheese had permeated our living room. After a very brief investigation I discovered that our toddler had dumped the entire bottle of parmesan cheese on the dog, who seemed thrilled.  Yesterday, I would have semi-shouted, "Why would you do this??"  Yesterday this would have sent me into a rampage in which I huffed and puffed. Yesterday I would have ranted that I did not deserve this.

Today, I took a breath and reminded myself that Jesus can do more through me when I am at peace than when I am at war.

Also, watching back to back episodes of Super Nanny seems to have helped.  Tremendously.

Peace out, y'all.

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