Breakthrough

Its funny how when things are going well in my life I inevitably begin leaning on my own power, complimenting myself on all of the things I can do well. The shift in thinking happens so slowly and subtly that I don't realize it's happened.  I begin doing more and more until I am consumed with doing - rather than begin consumed by my God. My worrying increases because my human nature knows that I cannot do everything on my own.  Soon the enemy is louder than Christ in my life and the evil one chants things like, "You'll never measure up.  You'll never be good enough. You think you're a good wife and mother?  Ha!  Look at so-and-so - she's so much better than you. The world is mine and I will win!"

I feed the enemy without even knowing it - I watch more t.v., I march my family to perfection with ugly words and angry eyes, I listen to the cruel voice rather than the more-powerful, beautiful voice.

During those times, those times when I feed the despondent rather than the joyful, my life seems burdensome. Life feels like a grave that I cannot claw my way out of.

When I allow (finally!) for it, the light breaks through like a tiny pinprick. I can quiet myself, and all the other voices, and listen to the voice of my Savior. That pinprick magnifies as I  read the Word, sings hymns, and gather with my church family. What was once a pinprick becomes a consuming fire and I cannot hide from the Truth any longer - I find more of myself being burned away and more of Him within me.

It is you who light my lamp;

the LORD my God, lights up my

darkness.

By you I can crush a troop,

and by my God I can leap over a wall.

This God-his way is perfect;

the promise of the Lord proves true;

he is a shield for all who take refuge in him.

For who is God except the LORD?

And who is a rock besides our

God?-

the God who girded me with 

strength

and made my way safe.

Psalm 18: 28-32

I can feel it then, what I did not feel before, my axis shifting back to center, back to Christ. Why is it that we do not feel our movement away from our Creator as keenly as we feel our movement toward our Creator?

Then I am filled with gratitude, with joy, with a simple, child-like love for the One who reminds me that my life is so much more than what I see here; for the One who leads me back to the Way, to the Truth, and to the Life; for the One who carries me from my self-made grave; for this God, whose way is perfect;

for my Savior who conquered death,

tore the veil,

and called me to Him.

May you all know, may we all know, the glorious and uncompromising love of Christ.

1. My husband, whose sermon roused the Spirit in me

2. My children, whose love is like a river

3. Coffee and cream

4. English muffins and REAL butter

5. Dogs, specifically my dogs