Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Quite Literally

As I sit and do school work with my children, or listen to them discuss things, I am struck by how literal they are. One of our favorite actors, David Tennant, is a great example. Spencer calls him David "Loo" Tennant - you know, like, David Lieutenant. It took us forever to figure that out- but that's how he associates the actor of Doctor Who infamy.

I always thought they got these tendencies from their father, but I have had some recent recollections that shed a little more light on the truth.

It started as a very young child. My parents subjected  allowed me to listen to Kenny Rogers.  In fact, my first concert was a Kenny Rogers concert. I was in kindergarten. There were a lot of people smoking 'special' cigarettes and so my parents let me sit through the entire concert with a jacket over my head.  At any rate, I remember one Kenny song in particular, "You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Me Lucille":

So, I thought Kenny was crooning, "you picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille, with 400 children, and a crock in the field."

I didn't even know what a crock in the field might be, but I really fretted after those 400 children, and the woman who birthed them.  I thought Kenny ought to have been pleased she stuck around through 400 children.  It really surprised me when I realized the lyrics were 4 hungry children and a crop in the field, just a few years ago. I guess Kenny's lyrics make more sense than mine. To this day, my husband does not like it when I sing in the car, not because of my poor singing, but because I butcher the lyrics so phenomenally.

Move forward a few years, to a fateful food fight, or some cafeteria disruption, that led to my entire 5th grade class having the principal assign us an essay on manners.  It dawned on me years later, in college quite sadly, that I titled my paper incorrectly.  In my most beautiful cursive I wrote:


Seriously?  What what was wrong with me???  And how hard do you think the principal laughed?

Then, my senior year in high school, I made the most egregious error of all.  This one is painful, and I can only blame my complete and total ignorance. I did not pay attention to anything, hardly ever, in school.  So, at any rate, our teacher gave us a semester long project and we could choose between two topics that were controversial current events in 1992. The first was euthanasia, the second was AIDS. We were to do research during the semester and turn in an 8-10 page report at the end of the semester.

I really enjoyed my pick, and found out some very interesting facts about the topic. I only wonder what my teacher thought when she saw the title of my report:

Youth in Asia

I cannot, would not, make this stuff up, people.  


  1. Hahahahaha! i'm DYING. You are hilarious and my favorite person. So glad i know you. xoxo

    1. Kara - Reminds me of when our father, your grandfather, would drive us through Cassoplis Michiagan and tell us "This is where the underground railroad ended." For years we would look for a large hole that a train may have came out of.

    2. Looks like I need a proof reader for my replies.

  2. I totally get that Youth in Asia thing. It took me a long time to understand how Dr. Kevorkian's suicide machine was related to that. I honestly thought all Asian youth were depressed or something.

    1. Sarah - it makes me deeply happy that you were also confused, because I think you were probably a pretty with it student. I was baffled.

  3. Tennant** Lol. :DD ~Kathryn.<3

  4. wow.I had a crush on Kenny when I was in *ahem* high school, i had all his *ahem~ahem* albums, (yes those big round black things) and my first concert was Kenny too. I was wearing one of those cheap straw cowboy-lookin' hats, was standing down front, threw my hat up to him, and he ***scream*** put it on for a minute and tossed it back! One of my fondest memories, just thought I'd share :)

  5. You have come by this affliction quite honestly. Glad you wrote about youth in /asia. I was always bothered when children were supposed to write about death and gore when they were still learning how to live. So your SA was uplifting and deserving at the same time. Good job daughter.. You probably made a few teachers laugh and lighten up for awhile.

  6. When it was my turn to say grace as a kid, it went something like this (to me, anyway)...
    "God is great. God is good.
    Lettuce thank him for our food..."
    I understand!

  7. I love it, Kara. 400 children would really be tough to figure out at such an age. That was a blast at the concert, with the burning weed being passed up and down the aisle and you hiding under the jacket yelling, "Oh, that smell is awful!" Can we turn back the clock and do it all over again, exactly the same?

  8. Kara, I am grinning with you. I make up words to songs too. My husband, I think it is, tells the story of thinking that "Shirley Good Mrs. Murphey" would follow him all the days of his life, after hearing that verse/song too.

    Have a wonderful afternoon,
    Jennifer Dougan