Friday, October 5, 2012

Love Not War

As a young woman I struggled with how I looked.  I struggled with the shape of my body, the way I looked in jeans. Heaven forbid I have to think about a swimsuit. I didn't struggle with body image every second of every day, but I had my moments of serious insecurity.

After having babies I had to get used to some permanent changes, as I am not one of those woman who bounces back from pregnancy.  There are years when I am absent from many pictures because of my self-consciousness.

One day I woke up and realized I didn't care anymore. I may be an unmentionable number of pounds overweight, but dangit, I still think I'm cute. That's good enough for me. That doesn't mean that I don't want better for my bod - it just means that I have learned to be alright with where I'm at while I'm there.

Not only can I not put the energy into disliking myself, it's important for my daughters to know that I will never talk ugly about my body.  Nor will I ever make fun of how another woman looks. I have tall friends, short friends, thin friends, and curvy friends and I love them all the same. I really believe that women should never, ever do that. We do our daughters, and all women, a disservice when we perpetuate an unattainable ideal.

We owe it to ourselves, and each other, to be at peace with our bodies, not at war.

A heart at peace gives life to the body,
    but envy rots the bones.
Proverbs 14:30


  1. I love how you are confident enough to say, "dangit, I still think I'm cute." You totally are!

    I seriously thought that I would outgrow caring about my body, but I still struggle with it... a lot. I definitely say negative things about myself in front of my girls. To the point that my husband has gotten pretty upset with me a few times about what I'm doing to our daughters' view of beauty. :(

    1. Sarah, I can say that the older you get the easier it should get. In the meantime, listen to your husband! :)

  2. Oprah had a show with Joel Olsteen. Part of the theme was: You are what follows "I am...". DO NOT say, "I am ..." + something negative. DO say, "I am ..." + something positive. Go for the good, not the bad.

  3. Kara,

    I can relate to those struggles throughout times of my life. I was always trying to hide a birthmark on my leg during swim times. :) No, I don't. Have you seen that Emily Wirenga just came out with a sure-to-be-great book called "Chasing Silhouettes"? I want to pick one up for our youth library too.

    Re your comment on my post "Dentist Trips and How to Love Parenting," "Forgetting to enjoy where I'm at..." -- I like that, Kara. That's powerful.

    You do seem to have kids similar ages as me! What fun.

    Have a great week. Thanks for stopping by.

    Jennifer Dougan

  4. You are BEAUTIFUL! :) So inspired by you, always. xoxo

  5. You are totally cute. I tried to say that days ago and it wouldn't post. So I'll say it today!!