Saturday, April 14, 2012

Mating Ritual

Don't get excited - I'm not talking the National Geographic variety of mating ritual.

I'm talking a sock mating ritual that takes place once a year within the walls of the Shepherd home.

You see, laundry makes me feel panicky, particularly when it's backed up. It's the worst after my children 'clean' their rooms. I know I'm in for it when I see clean floors and made-up beds.  I know that the pile in the laundry room will be a living, breathing entity lurking behind the bi-fold doors desiring nothing but my total consumption. Seriously, if I can't be found just bring a snow shovel and start digging; I'm sure to be buried beneath soiled unmentionables.

But today, today was different. It was Saturday so I awoke feeling unburdened by my normal schedule. After a DELICIOUS cup of coffee I felt that I could accomplish anything.

Even the large laundry basket filled with mate-less socks.

Thus began the mating ritual.

I emptied my basket and spread my loot before me. I organized them toe-down from white to dark.  There were some interesting shades of gray in there, be certain.  There were socks that I didn't recognize, socks with people's names on them who are not even in our family.  I was putting a puzzle together and my momentum was building.

My hubby came in with his cup of coffee and was impressed with the assemblage of sock-age. I proudly showed him each person's pile.

"Why does Spencer have 30 pairs of socks?"  my darling man asked.

It was then I had to confess one of my darkest secrets. As I do laundry I always fold what's in the dryer. But I don't like to match the socks, so I put them in a basket to do later. Later never happens. So my kids don't have socks. My simple remedy was to just buy  more. Sometimes it's on our way to a park, or homeschool co-op, or church that one or all will proclaim their lack of socks. Sometimes its when we're packing for a trip. At any rate, rather than take the trouble to deal with the sock situation I would purchase new ones.
I tried to get rid of the dog's zombie eyes but couldn't.
Also, notice the basket is FULL of socks and there are piles around me.

I'm a sock hoarder and I live with a bunch of enablers, and the Dollar General is 5 minutes from my house.

But those days are done.

Mating will always be in season at the Shepherd abode from here on out.

Because I just bought everybody flip flops.


  1. There are some things we all seem to have in common, huh?

  2. Hey - one day I used the sock pile as a lesson in "evolution" I put them all in a pile, and told the kids that if we believed in the ridiculous theory of evolution we could come back in a few years and they would have matched themselves up. Unfortunately, others in the household didn't see the value in this lesson and encouraged a more immediate matching. I had to use other means of teaching science that day. humph.