Monday, November 21, 2011

LaLa Land

I just want to clear the air.

Men get such a bad rap for being poor listeners that I have decided to have a little confession post. I'm going to tell on myself,  but you can't hold it against me. Lee, did you read that?

I am generally a very attentive listener. I daresay I even enjoy listening to others. But every now and then my brain just shuts off, especially if it's after 8 p.m. Sometimes 3 - 6 p.m. is a bad time, too. I'm not always a good listener if I haven't had my cup of coffee, either. Well, maybe my listening skills are hit or miss.

There have been many moments when I'm laying on the couch watching a Jane Austen movie and I realize that my darling husband is standing near me and seems to be moving his lips. I"ll innocently ask, "Have you been talking to me?"

Lee's response is usually irritation and confusion. Sometimes, apparently, I have even been answering him.

There are other moments, when Lee is giving me crucial information, that I am actually making eye contact and nodding my head. You know, doing all of those things that make someone believe you are listening. He'll say, "Okay?" and I'll say, "Okay!" and then we part ways. If one of the kids was standing around eavesdropping I'll ask her/him to fill me in on the conversation I missed out on. Sometimes I even to say, "Did your dad leave? Did he tell me he was leaving? Did I say goodbye?"

My son calls these episodes "Lala land". He'll even say, "Mom, you were visiting lala land again!"

I like Lala land. I visit their frequently when I am in the car driving the children to and fro. I listen to the music on the radio, I think about the other people in their cars and where the might be going, I think about Target and CVS and chocolate. Sometimes I don't even think, I just go away in my mind. Lala Land has all the benefits of a vacation without the bills, weight gain, and dirty laundry.

The kids will lament, "Mooooomm, why aren't you listening?"

I just smile - because I can't hear them! All I can think is how cute or pretty or sweet they are as I view them from Lala Land. I don't notice they're shouts or pinched, angry faces or the fact that I have heard their sweet little voices for 72 hours straight. Four children can pinch-hit for each other in the game of talk-mom-to-death.

My hubby will say, "I just want to talk to you for a few minutes."

I just smile at him while not remembering that when he unloaded the dishwasher he put everything on the counter because he didn't know where I liked to keep such-and-such dish. Never mind that we've lived in this house for 5.5 years. I'm in Lala Land where everything is shiny and happy and most sounds are muffled and none of the stuff of life bothers me there.

There are times I visit Lala Land and I regret the trip. For instance, when I'm cooking a trip to my most favorite getaway can have disastrous results. No one likes burnt scrambled eggs. Driving can be another time that my little oasis can be a hindrance. I once sat through two green lights. Okay, the second one was more to further irritate the driver behind me who was honking and giving me the #1 sign. The public library is also not a place to take a mental stay-cation - but that's a post for another day.

I am sharing this information not to divulge some of the Greatest Secrets of Motherhood but to encourage others on their journey. So take heart, all you who have weary ears, and enjoy a breather. I am giving you an all access pass to Lala Land where the theme song to Cheers is always on.


  1. yeah put i still get in way more trouble if i put the casserole-dish in the wrong cabinet then if i leave it on the counter and i also want to help empower you by being the master of the cabinets and the controller of all living places of the caverns of our cabinets so your authority is maintained and the dishes don't revolt and start a revolution (:

  2. I often visit there; surprised we haven't run into each other.

    I would love to hear more about the public library.